From the Publisher
Even though she was acquitted, it seems that everyone -- even her own parents -- believes that Zoe helped her best friend, Aimee, commit suicide. Now, months later, her family has moved to a new town to escape the stigma of the trial, and Zoe is completely cut off from her group of friends. In her new life, Zoe is paralyzed by loneliness, guilt, and anger at everyone's suppression of the truth. As she writes in her journal, Zoe gradually lets readers into her world, a world where parents don't listen, therapists don't help, and best friends betray you. In the end Zoe realizes that she never could have saved Aimee, but she might be able to save herself.

From the Critics
From School Library Journal
Gr 9 Up-Zoe is one angry 17-year-old. Having recently been acquitted of assisting her best friend's suicide, she is seeing a court-appointed psychiatrist who has suggested she write the journal that forms this book. The entries slip backward and forward in time and Zoe has complaints about 99 percent of her life. She feels that no adults have ever paid sufficient attention to her wants and needs and that when they DO pay attention they are controlling and stifling and stupid. Given that her family has moved to another town and she is forbidden to communicate with her hometown friends, Zoe has good reason to feel hung out to dry. And given that her parents seem to be hoping that she will get over Aimee's death and the trial and be a happy high school senior, it's no wonder that she's severely depressed. Bit by bit, the story of her old group-their risky behavior (including drinking and sex) and frequent challenges to authority-emerges from Zoe's writing. The lack of genuine communication between the younger and older generations provides the tragic climate for Aimee's suicide and hinders Zoe's ability to recover. Her voice is not always consistent but her unhappiness and her grittiness are difficult to dismiss. There are a lot of issues here that bear addressing, and Miller handles them in a way that teens will easily grasp. By the end, Zoe has even managed to gain some perspective and has decided to get on with her life.-Miriam Lang Budin, Chappaqua Public Library, NY Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.

From Booklist
Gr. 9-12. Miller's edgy first novel explores the aftermath of a teen suicide in an almost claustrophobic portrait of the dead girl's best friend. Zoe remembers how she and a group of close friends arranged an around-the-clock watch on suicidal Aimee and how Aimee still managed to overdose during Zoe's shift. Zoe was tried for murder, and though she was eventually acquitted, she now finds herself overwhelmed with guilt, anger, and grief. This is a meandering, teasing book, with its slow leaking...

From Publisher's Weekly
First-novelist Miller creates an intense psychological drama narrated by a troubled teen recently acquitted of murder charges. The question "Did Zoe really help best friend Aimee commit suicide?" hangs precariously between the lines of Zoe's journal, where (according to her psychologist) she is to write about her past, "what you felt, what you thought, what was important to you." Zoe pointedly avoids discussing the fateful night of Aimee's death, but she candidly describes her present emotions. She openly expresses her scorn for therapists, her resentment of her mother, her longing to see old friends (whom she is forbidden to contact) and her avoidance of a girl at her new school (the girl flirts with death the same way Aimee did). Tension mounts as Zoe edges ever closer to the truth about Aimee's death, but details remain below the surface until the cathartic climax, when Zoe finally recaps the horrific chain of events and must determine whether or not the tragedy could have been prevented. While the premise involves extremes of behavior, readers will readily recognize the feelings and conflicts that fuel this engrossing novel. Investigating the tensions between teens and the adults in their lives, the author raises hard-hitting questions that resound all the more powerfully for her refusal to simplify the answers. Ages 14-up. (May) Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information.

From Kirkus Reviews
In a journal being written for therapy, an unnamed narrator tells of being accused of the murder of her best friend. Quite realistically the girl jumps between past and present as her thoughts travel over these momentous events. Separated from her tightknit group of friends both at the order of the court and because her parents have moved to a new town for her sake, this girl is isolated, bereft, and damaged. The mystery is what really happened and whether this JK-"Jack Kevorkian"-could have saved her friend, aided and abetted in her death, or worse. Consequences for herself, her family, and friends include a severe anorexia, which leads to a hospital stay, parents separating, and the knowledge that Aimee's death was a result of unbearable pain. Avoiding flamboyance and trendy dialogue, first-time novelist Miller simply tells the story using her narrator's voice, which is compelling. Often, in such stories the secret seems less than the buildup, but this time it is not. Aimee found herself beyond help and no longer able to bear her life despite being in a supportive, albeit imperfect, group of friends who shared alcohol, flawed parents, and sometimes sex. For the narrator, being accused of killing Aimee is only a small part of anguish. A keen observer, slightly self-absorbed, she is convincing; the revelations of the past drift into her recounting of the present, offering clues as though this were a gripping thriller. The complexities of her relationship with her super-perfectionist lawyer mother and disengaged father are aptly portrayed without demonizing or excusing any of them. A late revealing of the name of the narrator is symbolic of the healing that is beginning and indicates thatall has finally been told. A fascinating character study that will intrigue readers wanting to go beyond sensationalistic headlines. (Fiction. YA)

From Washington Post
Sunday, May 26, 2002; Page BW11
Seventeen-year-old Zoe is spitting mad -- with her "ladder-climbing, kiss-up" parents, with her "shrink," and with the kids in her new school. Gradually we learn why. She's just been acquitted of helping Aimee, her
best friend at her old school, commit suicide; her family has moved; she's cut off from her "wild" former friends; and that unwanted psychologist is court-appointed. Despite the acquittal, doubts about Zoe's role in Aimee's death linger. She has doubts herself. No wonder she strikes out. But as she circles closer to her memory of that night, truths emerge. Guilt does apply, but not the criminal kind, and not just to Zoe. Summarizing Aimee makes it sound like a health-class handout (warning signs of suicidal teenage depression, teen drinking and sex, anorexia, etc). But don't be put off: It's actually a gripping whodunit (or "whodunwhat") that puts you convincingly in the shoes of a smart, funny, very unlucky 17-year-old girl.

From Voya
-Nancy Zachary, Voice of Youth Advocacy, June, 2002
In a dark, compelling voice, the nameless teen narrator recounts the parameters of her legal sentence.  She must not see her close friends again, she is forced to transfer to a new school, and she must attend psychiatric counseling sessions.  Why?  Because her best friend, Aimee, is dead.  Although readers do not get the answers to their questions about how this tragic death occurred until the conclusion of the story, they will be consumed by the narrator's fixation with the end of everything.  She wonders aloud what it must feel like to let all fall away and to end life's struggles.  In her friendless state, she realistically dabbles in anorexia, hospitalization, and alienation from her confused parents.  First love and the limits of friendship are strong themes that thread their way convincingly through the unfolding story of Aimee's death.  It would be a mistake to give away too much of this mysterious first-person narrative, but librarians and teachers must take note that this novel is a believable high school tale of wild emotion and actions gone wrong.  It could reflect a story from the local newspaper, with its moral lessons about listening and communicating with peers and the older generation.  A natural for booktalking, this book is recommended for health curriculum bibliographies as well as for leisure reading. 

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